This past weekend, I moved to Kissimmee, Florida. Later this month, I will begin my job as an Assistant Public Defender with the Ninth Judicial Circuit. It has yet to be determined if I will be assigned to Kissimmee (Osceola County) or Orlando (Orange County). Keeping my job is also contingent on passing the bar exam. Scores should be released on September 19th.
I am looking forward to this new chapter in my life. The people in the office seem very nice, and I should get a lot of trial experience in a short amount of time. I have not made up my mind if I am going to start another blog. If I do, it will have nothing to do with work. Most of the interesting stories from work, I will be unable to talk about. It is too risky to try and write about my experiences as a criminal trial lawyer while at the same time performing the appropriate edits to protect attorney-client privilege.
So here it is. My last entry for "The World of Law School."
Time flew by. The Florida State University College of Law has been good to me, and the school has given me a wonderful opportunity. The hard work does not stop, of course. There will always be hurdles to clear and obstacles to overcome for me to reach my goals. Law school has been a helpful rung on the ladder. I won't spend time trying to recount all the great memories I have. The high points are recorded in previous entries.
Going to school here reinforced my understanding that willpower is essential to success and a happy life. Florida State Law gave me the chance to study and compete with people possessing a great deal of willpower, intelligence and talent.
In the most recent edition of the magazine of my alma mater, Western Carolina University, I came across one of my favorite quotes of all time. Pat Kaemmerling, a 1971 graduate of WCU and vice chair of the WCU Foundation board of directors said, "See the world while you can. Do some fun, adventurous things before you have a mortgage, a spouse and children. When you have those, you can take two weeks and go to Europe, but you can't spend six months in Paris and get a job selling flowers on the corner."
To a certain degree, I have lived my life like that. I've been a mail carrier in Washington, DC, a car salesman in Las Vegas, and a National Park Service Ranger in Tennessee and Virginia, among other jobs. The single best year of my life (yet, I hope) was as a graduate student back at Western Carolina University. I got to relive my college days, 10 years later. I also spent three good years in law school in Tallahassee. Now, I wake up in the morning to the sound of planes flying into the Orlando airport and, after a few seconds to orient myself, I realize that I am a budding Florida criminal trial lawyer.
What stays with me the most about finishing the bar exam and moving from Tallahassee to the Orlando area is my parents.
Through it all, my parents have been there for me, helping me move back and forth and serving as a safety net while I made the transition from one thing to the next.
But I have gotten older in the three years of law school, and so have they. My mom had some health problems recently, and I could tell when my parents came to Tallahassee to help me move, they were operating at maximum stress capacity. So I see a shift happening between me and them.
My brain has not aged at all in law school. I've been frozen at 23 years old for a long time. In some ways, I could be just as happy working at the movie theater like I did when I was a teenager. But when I look at myself in the mirror, when I see myself in profile on those store security monitors- I know that I cannot pull that off anymore. I have aged physically in the past three years more than at any other time in my life. I see a body and face that I don't quite recognize. It does not match my mental self image. But there it is, reality.
Based on that reality, I know it is time for me to stop bouncing around. Easily fitting into new careers will get harder as I get older. More importantly, at this point in my parents' lives, to keep changing is... selfish.
Law school has given me a great opportunity to really be successful, and I need to take advantage of that. I need to make this work, if not for myself, then for my parents...
Law school ends quickly. A couple of my roommates who went straight into law school after college were a little sad as we packed up the house in Tallahassee. "College is over," one of them sighed.
"You could always be like me and go back to college in your early 30s," I said.
"That would be awesome," he replied.
"It was awesome," I said.
As a I get older, I realize that there is less, not more time to sit and reflect on my experiences. I must get on with trying to survive and thrive in a tough and competitive world.
This new chapter will be exciting, and I look forward to the challenges.
I say thank you to the Florida State University College of Law and to the people I met there. It has been a pleasure, and an experience I will treasure.
Best Wishes,
Nathan Marshburn
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
The Tampa Experience
The Hotel
The exam lasted two days- Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. The test itself was literally 12 hours long, though of course one had to deal with the logistics of getting to Tampa, checking in at the exam site, and getting set for the exam.
During the four and a half hour drive to Tampa, I saw three of my fellow classmates on the road with me. We waved and smiled at each other, and it was a good feeling to know that I was not in this totally alone.
Initially, I booked a room at a Ramada Inn about six miles from the test site, the Tampa Convention Center. As the dates for the exam drew nearer, though, peer pressure got to me.
A number of my friends raised their eyebrows when they heard where I was staying.
"I wouldn't want to take the risk that my car doesn't start in the morning," they said.
"What if you get into a fender bender on the way? Are you going to stay at the scene of the accident and deal with it? Or are you going to take the bar exam?"
"Dude, spend the money and get a closer hotel where you can just get up in the morning and walk to it. The repercussions of missing the exam are huge. Your job offer is contingent on passing this thing, isn't it?"
Even my parents, when I told them I was staying six miles out from the convention center, expressed concern that I would get caught in Tampa traffic and arrive late.
So I succumbed and booked a room at the Hyatt Regency, just a 10 minute walk to the convention center. Almost all of my friends reserved rooms at hotels this close. These hotels like the Hyatt, the Hilton, and the Sheraton were much more expensive, of course. The extra amenities included with the price amused me.
As I was waiting in line to check in, one of the bellhops directed my attention to a cooler filled with water, oranges, lemons and limes.
"Would you care for some infused water while you wait? It's quite delicious."
And when I reached the check-in desk, the clerk asked, "Would you like a complimentary bottle of champagne to celebrate your stay with us?"
"No thank you," I replied. "I'm here for the bar exam. I won't be doing any drinking."
"At least not until Wednesday night," the clerk said.
"Yes, you're probably right," I responded. Though at that point I did not want to think about Wednesday night.
According to the clerk, about 250 occupants at the hotel were there for the bar exam. I got about four hours of sleep on Monday night. The next morning, beginning at around 6am, about 2,500 of us began to make our way to the convention center...
The Tampa Convention Center
No book bags, eyeglass cases, backpacks, purses, wallets, notes, books, study materials, cellular telephones, beepers, watches, or clocks with audible alarms, calculators, or other electronic devices were allowed in the exam room. Neither were highlighter markers, pencils, pens, headphones, earplugs with wires, diskettes or CDs, hats or baseball caps, foods or liquids.
Security staff searched us with metal detectors. We were allowed to take in one key (either a car key or hotel room key) and some dollar bills for the lunch break.
The 2,500 or so of us filed through the metal detectors into a room the size of two football fields. The exam room was lined with scores of rows of tables. Each table sat two people. Once you came into the room, you could not leave. If you left the room, you would be denied re-entry. Fortunately, there were restrooms and water fountains inside the examination room itself.
Eventually, I found my assigned seat for the 12 hours of testing. A lady far, far away on a stage calmly gave us instructions using a microphone. The room really was an incredible sight. It was an expansive ocean of 2,500 people all quietly concentrating at tables of two each. As the exam began, dozens of proctors circulated throughout the room, carefully watching us.
One test taker a few tables away had the jimmy leg, which caused her shoe to squeak on the floor. Most distracting, however, was the very beautiful woman sitting at the table in front of me. When the test began, she leaned forward. Her shirt raised up from the small of her back. So now, just three or four feet from my face was the top of a turquoise thong with a detailed tattoo situated neatly above it.
But I was able to power through the distractions. I feel like I did the best I could.
Like I said earlier, the bar exam was the most challenging academic experience of my life, and it is taking some time to unwind from it. Since Monday, I have only been able to sleep for three or four hours at a stretch.
A new, exciting change looms this weekend. After three years in Tallahassee, I will move to the Orlando area to start a new job.
Until Next Time,
Nathan Marshburn
The exam lasted two days- Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. The test itself was literally 12 hours long, though of course one had to deal with the logistics of getting to Tampa, checking in at the exam site, and getting set for the exam.
During the four and a half hour drive to Tampa, I saw three of my fellow classmates on the road with me. We waved and smiled at each other, and it was a good feeling to know that I was not in this totally alone.
Initially, I booked a room at a Ramada Inn about six miles from the test site, the Tampa Convention Center. As the dates for the exam drew nearer, though, peer pressure got to me.
A number of my friends raised their eyebrows when they heard where I was staying.
"I wouldn't want to take the risk that my car doesn't start in the morning," they said.
"What if you get into a fender bender on the way? Are you going to stay at the scene of the accident and deal with it? Or are you going to take the bar exam?"
"Dude, spend the money and get a closer hotel where you can just get up in the morning and walk to it. The repercussions of missing the exam are huge. Your job offer is contingent on passing this thing, isn't it?"
Even my parents, when I told them I was staying six miles out from the convention center, expressed concern that I would get caught in Tampa traffic and arrive late.
So I succumbed and booked a room at the Hyatt Regency, just a 10 minute walk to the convention center. Almost all of my friends reserved rooms at hotels this close. These hotels like the Hyatt, the Hilton, and the Sheraton were much more expensive, of course. The extra amenities included with the price amused me.
As I was waiting in line to check in, one of the bellhops directed my attention to a cooler filled with water, oranges, lemons and limes.
"Would you care for some infused water while you wait? It's quite delicious."
And when I reached the check-in desk, the clerk asked, "Would you like a complimentary bottle of champagne to celebrate your stay with us?"
"No thank you," I replied. "I'm here for the bar exam. I won't be doing any drinking."
"At least not until Wednesday night," the clerk said.
"Yes, you're probably right," I responded. Though at that point I did not want to think about Wednesday night.
According to the clerk, about 250 occupants at the hotel were there for the bar exam. I got about four hours of sleep on Monday night. The next morning, beginning at around 6am, about 2,500 of us began to make our way to the convention center...
The Tampa Convention Center
No book bags, eyeglass cases, backpacks, purses, wallets, notes, books, study materials, cellular telephones, beepers, watches, or clocks with audible alarms, calculators, or other electronic devices were allowed in the exam room. Neither were highlighter markers, pencils, pens, headphones, earplugs with wires, diskettes or CDs, hats or baseball caps, foods or liquids.
Security staff searched us with metal detectors. We were allowed to take in one key (either a car key or hotel room key) and some dollar bills for the lunch break.
The 2,500 or so of us filed through the metal detectors into a room the size of two football fields. The exam room was lined with scores of rows of tables. Each table sat two people. Once you came into the room, you could not leave. If you left the room, you would be denied re-entry. Fortunately, there were restrooms and water fountains inside the examination room itself.
Eventually, I found my assigned seat for the 12 hours of testing. A lady far, far away on a stage calmly gave us instructions using a microphone. The room really was an incredible sight. It was an expansive ocean of 2,500 people all quietly concentrating at tables of two each. As the exam began, dozens of proctors circulated throughout the room, carefully watching us.
One test taker a few tables away had the jimmy leg, which caused her shoe to squeak on the floor. Most distracting, however, was the very beautiful woman sitting at the table in front of me. When the test began, she leaned forward. Her shirt raised up from the small of her back. So now, just three or four feet from my face was the top of a turquoise thong with a detailed tattoo situated neatly above it.
But I was able to power through the distractions. I feel like I did the best I could.
Like I said earlier, the bar exam was the most challenging academic experience of my life, and it is taking some time to unwind from it. Since Monday, I have only been able to sleep for three or four hours at a stretch.
A new, exciting change looms this weekend. After three years in Tallahassee, I will move to the Orlando area to start a new job.
Until Next Time,
Nathan Marshburn
The Bar Exam
When I returned to Tallahassee yesterday, just back from taking the Florida bar exam at the Tampa Convention Center, one of the staff at the law school asked me, "How did it go?"
I replied without hesitation, "I do not think that I could have worked harder or prepared more to take that exam. I did the best I could. But it was intense, and it was hard."
...Wow...I am slowly beginning to unwind from the experience. I can only speak for myself, but getting ready for the bar exam and then taking the test in Tampa was the most challenging academic experience of my life. Those who graduated at the very top of my class might say that the pressure of final exams and maintaining the top status at our school was more challenging. But when I graduated from law school back in May, I did not know that such a behemoth task was still in front of me. Sure, I knew it was going to be hard work and a little stressful. It surprised me, though, how stressful the whole experience was and how much hard work was required. Graduation and all the festivities seems somewhat like a different world now- like we had the victory celebration before we went into combat.
I suppose that I will wrap up "The World of Law School" blog in my next three or four entries. It has been over a month since I last posted anything, because I spent almost all of my waking hours studying. I was in my "finals" mode for over a month. It was enough to give a person an ulcer. One of my friends did in fact get a stomach ulcer preparing for this exam. Hopefully, she can relax a little now.
My next entry will describe in more detail the experience in Tampa.
Until Next Time,
Nathan Marshburn
I replied without hesitation, "I do not think that I could have worked harder or prepared more to take that exam. I did the best I could. But it was intense, and it was hard."
...Wow...I am slowly beginning to unwind from the experience. I can only speak for myself, but getting ready for the bar exam and then taking the test in Tampa was the most challenging academic experience of my life. Those who graduated at the very top of my class might say that the pressure of final exams and maintaining the top status at our school was more challenging. But when I graduated from law school back in May, I did not know that such a behemoth task was still in front of me. Sure, I knew it was going to be hard work and a little stressful. It surprised me, though, how stressful the whole experience was and how much hard work was required. Graduation and all the festivities seems somewhat like a different world now- like we had the victory celebration before we went into combat.
I suppose that I will wrap up "The World of Law School" blog in my next three or four entries. It has been over a month since I last posted anything, because I spent almost all of my waking hours studying. I was in my "finals" mode for over a month. It was enough to give a person an ulcer. One of my friends did in fact get a stomach ulcer preparing for this exam. Hopefully, she can relax a little now.
My next entry will describe in more detail the experience in Tampa.
Until Next Time,
Nathan Marshburn
Sunday, June 26, 2011
"Your Juris Doctor Has Been Mailed"
Earlier this week, the law school sent out an email to the May graduates, congratulating us again on our accomplishment and informing us that our Juris Doctor diplomas had been mailed. The email included a link where we could view our diploma.
For me, seeing that email, viewing my diploma, was actually more gratifying than the graduation ceremony. At the ceremony back on May 7th, we had not received our exam grades. In fact, just the day before the ceremony, I took a final exam for the class of "Complex Civil Litigation." That last exam turned out to be perhaps the most difficult one of my entire law school experience. Afterwards, I joked to my friends that I ended my academic studies at FSU College of Law "not with a bang, but a whimper." So, there remained for me an uneasy feeling about the exams as I went through the graduation ceremony.
Now, though, I know my grades and my GPA. And while it will be September before final class rankings are issued (due to some students from my class finishing their graduation requirements in summer school), I know my degree is there, permanently.
A few days ago, the Admissions and Records Office printed my transcript, and it was nice to see "Juris Doctor Cum Laude" typed at the end...
There is really no time to enjoy it, though. One month from now is the Florida Bar Exam. For almost every job in the legal field, I need two things: My J.D. and admission to the bar.
I am halfway done with the Kaplan PMBR bar prep course. They are doing a great job teaching me what I need to know, but what I did not anticipate was the volume of information in the course and how fast we have to learn it. It really is very much like getting ready for law school final exams- just stretched out over a longer period. In an earlier blog entry, I said that I could not maintain that kind of intensity for such an extended time frame, but it looks like I am going to have to.
This past week, my class took a six hour practice MBE (which is 1/2 of the whole exam). I got 58% of the questions right.
58%.
While it is slightly comforting to know that we were only expected to get about half the questions right, and that the top people in my class were scoring at 65% or 70%, if I score 58% one month from now then I will fail the bar exam.
I have work to do, and new material from the bar prep course is being put to us every day.
So, this past week I saw my diploma and it felt good. But bar preparation, combined with the stress of the job search makes right now the most anxiety-filled time of the whole law school experience, at least for me.
I will keep moving ahead, though, treating this like an adventure and remembering, as my mom told me, "It is a privileged adventure." Not everyone gets to head down these paths. Really, I am lucky to be here.
Until Next Time,
Nathan Marshburn
For me, seeing that email, viewing my diploma, was actually more gratifying than the graduation ceremony. At the ceremony back on May 7th, we had not received our exam grades. In fact, just the day before the ceremony, I took a final exam for the class of "Complex Civil Litigation." That last exam turned out to be perhaps the most difficult one of my entire law school experience. Afterwards, I joked to my friends that I ended my academic studies at FSU College of Law "not with a bang, but a whimper." So, there remained for me an uneasy feeling about the exams as I went through the graduation ceremony.
Now, though, I know my grades and my GPA. And while it will be September before final class rankings are issued (due to some students from my class finishing their graduation requirements in summer school), I know my degree is there, permanently.
A few days ago, the Admissions and Records Office printed my transcript, and it was nice to see "Juris Doctor Cum Laude" typed at the end...
There is really no time to enjoy it, though. One month from now is the Florida Bar Exam. For almost every job in the legal field, I need two things: My J.D. and admission to the bar.
I am halfway done with the Kaplan PMBR bar prep course. They are doing a great job teaching me what I need to know, but what I did not anticipate was the volume of information in the course and how fast we have to learn it. It really is very much like getting ready for law school final exams- just stretched out over a longer period. In an earlier blog entry, I said that I could not maintain that kind of intensity for such an extended time frame, but it looks like I am going to have to.
This past week, my class took a six hour practice MBE (which is 1/2 of the whole exam). I got 58% of the questions right.
58%.
While it is slightly comforting to know that we were only expected to get about half the questions right, and that the top people in my class were scoring at 65% or 70%, if I score 58% one month from now then I will fail the bar exam.
I have work to do, and new material from the bar prep course is being put to us every day.
So, this past week I saw my diploma and it felt good. But bar preparation, combined with the stress of the job search makes right now the most anxiety-filled time of the whole law school experience, at least for me.
I will keep moving ahead, though, treating this like an adventure and remembering, as my mom told me, "It is a privileged adventure." Not everyone gets to head down these paths. Really, I am lucky to be here.
Until Next Time,
Nathan Marshburn
Saturday, June 18, 2011
The Day I Played Hooky from Bar Prep
I decided not to go to my bar prep class this past Thursday.
Instead, I set my alarm clock for 4:30am.
It woke me up at the correct time, and I finally managed to get myself out of bed about 20 minutes later.
I shaved, showered, and put on a suit and tie. Then I hopped in my car and drove to the Tallahassee airport, where I boarded a plane for a one hour flight to Charlotte, North Carolina.
After a brief stop in the Queen City, I got on another flight- this one bound for Denver, Colorado.
My seat was just one away from the emergency exit door. Before takeoff, the flight attendant quickly recited some instructions to my row on how to operate the door, which I did not comprehend at all. But when she asked us if we did understand, I nodded my head along with the frail old woman to my right.
Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, combined with the pressurized air popping in my ears, combined with the knowledge that I was moving at a rapid rate through two times zones, combined with my general fear of flying- but something was making my imagination fire on all cylinders.
When we had been in the air about an hour, the guy sitting to my left, immediately beside the emergency door, got up to use the lavatory. As he returned, he tripped over his carry on bag, and his hand
***
hit one of the levers on the door.
A quiet buzz sounded, and a yellow light on the door turned on. An instant later, the door blew open and the poor guy got sucked out with it. As he flew out, his other hand struck me across my face, breaking the bridge of my nose. I lost consciousness for a few seconds, but not before I began to feel the bolts give way at the base of my chair and hear people begin to scream.
When I came to, so much wind was hitting my face and body. Everything around me was hazy blue. A severe tickling sensation in my stomach got my attention, and I realized I was in free-fall.
Below I could see the large green or brown squares and circles of crop fields, though the wind was so intense it was hard for me to keep my eyes open.
I wanted to get out of the chair. I had to get out of it. So, I unhooked my seat belt, pushed the chair away, stretched out my arms and legs and tried to enjoy the rest of the descent...
Of course, nothing below the asterisks actually happened. The guy did slip, but his hand hit the wall beside the emergency door. My imagination took over after that.
Flying can be both exhilarating and terrifying. Dying in a plane crash is one of my more intense fears (especially a plane crash into the ocean at night). So I had a difficult time controlling some of my thoughts. Enough macabre scenes popped into my head on the plane to fill half a novel.
When we finally touched down in Denver, the day was 77 degrees and beautiful. The land around the city is completely flat- like Kansas or Nebraska and with no trees. In the distance one can see the snowy Rocky Mountains.
My arrival in Denver was not unexpected. A nice young woman, who could in fact be a gatekeeper to my future, picked me up from the airport to take me to lunch as part of a continuous job interview.
We went to "Ted's" restaurant, where I enjoyed a honey baked salmon. The interview was actually my fifth for the position, but the first in-person talk. I had hoped that this interview would only be a formality before they extended an offer to me.
My hopes were deflated, however, when the young woman told me, "Your flight landed a half hour late. We're going to have to make lunch quick, because there is another person to be interviewed coming in at 2:30."
I later learned that there are still several people in the game for this job.
After lunch, we went to a DoubleTree hotel where the young woman and her supervisor, one of the vice presidents of the company, asked me questions for about an hour. I liked both of them and I thought the interview went reasonably well.
Anyway, I did the best I could. I tried for the close and asked for the job that day, but they were noncommittal.
When we concluded, I climbed in a cab and went right back to the Denver airport.
During the cab ride, I received a phone call to set up a job interview with a completely different employer in Orlando. It looks like I'll have to play hooky again one day next week to make the drive down to that warm city...
On March 3rd of this year, I wrote a blog called "Three Directions." These experiences in Denver and then next week in Orlando are that blog entry at a crescendo...
The flights back to Charlotte and then Tallahassee were even more intense on my imagination than the flights going west. When we touched down in Charlotte, the pilot immediately hit the brakes harder than in any flight I've ever been on. I actually slid forward in my seat, with the belt keeping me from falling out. Instantly, I began to think something was in the runway. I will spare you the description of the other images that popped into my mind about what happened next...
It was well after nightfall when my plane took off from Charlotte to Tallahassee. The aircraft was smaller than the others I had flown in that day.
Immediately after takeoff, we rolled to one side and then pitched back to the other side. My stomach leaped violently, and I honestly thought for a few seconds that we were going down. I remembered the story from a few years ago of a small US Airways plane that crashed in Charlotte immediately after takeoff because they had not balanced the luggage correctly. The airline declined to release the cockpit voice recordings of the pilots' screams before they crashed. It was such a sad story, and the pilot was a beautiful young woman with her whole life ahead of her.
I was sitting in the very back of the plane. Only the flight attendant was behind me. When we straightened out, I looked back at her in time to see her tuck her head between her legs and knock on the wall beside her before she corrected her posture.
"Is that normal for us to roll like that right after take off?" I asked.
Of course she answered, "Yes."
But I wonder. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as we landed smoothly in Tallahassee, and she did not "knock on wood."
I am not sure that what they say about your life flashing in front of your eyes right before you die is correct. For two seconds on that takeoff, I really thought I was going to die. And all I felt was the severe jump in my stomach and a terrible, depressing and sinking sensation that existence was at an end. There were no flashes of memory...
But enough of this dark stuff. Can you tell that I am avoiding studying for the bar exam this morning?
My trip on Thursday was a great adventure, and I enjoyed seeing the Rockies and the rush that the flights gave me.
We'll see what happens. Now I have to get my mind ready for the job interview in Orlando. And for answering practice bar questions on Florida Evidence in the ever-present red, yellow, green game. The roller coaster ride continues...
Until Next Time,
Nathan Marshburn
Instead, I set my alarm clock for 4:30am.
It woke me up at the correct time, and I finally managed to get myself out of bed about 20 minutes later.
I shaved, showered, and put on a suit and tie. Then I hopped in my car and drove to the Tallahassee airport, where I boarded a plane for a one hour flight to Charlotte, North Carolina.
After a brief stop in the Queen City, I got on another flight- this one bound for Denver, Colorado.
My seat was just one away from the emergency exit door. Before takeoff, the flight attendant quickly recited some instructions to my row on how to operate the door, which I did not comprehend at all. But when she asked us if we did understand, I nodded my head along with the frail old woman to my right.
Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, combined with the pressurized air popping in my ears, combined with the knowledge that I was moving at a rapid rate through two times zones, combined with my general fear of flying- but something was making my imagination fire on all cylinders.
When we had been in the air about an hour, the guy sitting to my left, immediately beside the emergency door, got up to use the lavatory. As he returned, he tripped over his carry on bag, and his hand
***
hit one of the levers on the door.
A quiet buzz sounded, and a yellow light on the door turned on. An instant later, the door blew open and the poor guy got sucked out with it. As he flew out, his other hand struck me across my face, breaking the bridge of my nose. I lost consciousness for a few seconds, but not before I began to feel the bolts give way at the base of my chair and hear people begin to scream.
When I came to, so much wind was hitting my face and body. Everything around me was hazy blue. A severe tickling sensation in my stomach got my attention, and I realized I was in free-fall.
Below I could see the large green or brown squares and circles of crop fields, though the wind was so intense it was hard for me to keep my eyes open.
I wanted to get out of the chair. I had to get out of it. So, I unhooked my seat belt, pushed the chair away, stretched out my arms and legs and tried to enjoy the rest of the descent...
Of course, nothing below the asterisks actually happened. The guy did slip, but his hand hit the wall beside the emergency door. My imagination took over after that.
Flying can be both exhilarating and terrifying. Dying in a plane crash is one of my more intense fears (especially a plane crash into the ocean at night). So I had a difficult time controlling some of my thoughts. Enough macabre scenes popped into my head on the plane to fill half a novel.
When we finally touched down in Denver, the day was 77 degrees and beautiful. The land around the city is completely flat- like Kansas or Nebraska and with no trees. In the distance one can see the snowy Rocky Mountains.
My arrival in Denver was not unexpected. A nice young woman, who could in fact be a gatekeeper to my future, picked me up from the airport to take me to lunch as part of a continuous job interview.
We went to "Ted's" restaurant, where I enjoyed a honey baked salmon. The interview was actually my fifth for the position, but the first in-person talk. I had hoped that this interview would only be a formality before they extended an offer to me.
My hopes were deflated, however, when the young woman told me, "Your flight landed a half hour late. We're going to have to make lunch quick, because there is another person to be interviewed coming in at 2:30."
I later learned that there are still several people in the game for this job.
After lunch, we went to a DoubleTree hotel where the young woman and her supervisor, one of the vice presidents of the company, asked me questions for about an hour. I liked both of them and I thought the interview went reasonably well.
Anyway, I did the best I could. I tried for the close and asked for the job that day, but they were noncommittal.
When we concluded, I climbed in a cab and went right back to the Denver airport.
During the cab ride, I received a phone call to set up a job interview with a completely different employer in Orlando. It looks like I'll have to play hooky again one day next week to make the drive down to that warm city...
On March 3rd of this year, I wrote a blog called "Three Directions." These experiences in Denver and then next week in Orlando are that blog entry at a crescendo...
The flights back to Charlotte and then Tallahassee were even more intense on my imagination than the flights going west. When we touched down in Charlotte, the pilot immediately hit the brakes harder than in any flight I've ever been on. I actually slid forward in my seat, with the belt keeping me from falling out. Instantly, I began to think something was in the runway. I will spare you the description of the other images that popped into my mind about what happened next...
It was well after nightfall when my plane took off from Charlotte to Tallahassee. The aircraft was smaller than the others I had flown in that day.
Immediately after takeoff, we rolled to one side and then pitched back to the other side. My stomach leaped violently, and I honestly thought for a few seconds that we were going down. I remembered the story from a few years ago of a small US Airways plane that crashed in Charlotte immediately after takeoff because they had not balanced the luggage correctly. The airline declined to release the cockpit voice recordings of the pilots' screams before they crashed. It was such a sad story, and the pilot was a beautiful young woman with her whole life ahead of her.
I was sitting in the very back of the plane. Only the flight attendant was behind me. When we straightened out, I looked back at her in time to see her tuck her head between her legs and knock on the wall beside her before she corrected her posture.
"Is that normal for us to roll like that right after take off?" I asked.
Of course she answered, "Yes."
But I wonder. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as we landed smoothly in Tallahassee, and she did not "knock on wood."
I am not sure that what they say about your life flashing in front of your eyes right before you die is correct. For two seconds on that takeoff, I really thought I was going to die. And all I felt was the severe jump in my stomach and a terrible, depressing and sinking sensation that existence was at an end. There were no flashes of memory...
But enough of this dark stuff. Can you tell that I am avoiding studying for the bar exam this morning?
My trip on Thursday was a great adventure, and I enjoyed seeing the Rockies and the rush that the flights gave me.
We'll see what happens. Now I have to get my mind ready for the job interview in Orlando. And for answering practice bar questions on Florida Evidence in the ever-present red, yellow, green game. The roller coaster ride continues...
Until Next Time,
Nathan Marshburn
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Time to Buckle Down
Even though I am keeping up with the Kaplan syllabus for bar review fairly well, the low percentage of answers that I am getting right makes me feel guilty today about how much fun I had this weekend.
Like I said in my blog post on May 28, my new residence can be quite the social scene. Yesterday, we organized a tailgate party for the NCAA baseball super regionals. Florida State is taking on Texas A & M in a best of three games series. The winner goes to the College World Series in Omaha. I spent hours out in the sun yesterday, enjoying grilled burgers and talking to friends before we went inside the stadium to watch our team.
It was after dark when we finally packed up the grill and headed back to the house. So, I was ready to call it a day. I needed to study. But peer pressure can be tough, sometimes. My friends convinced me to go out with them to a club downtown. I think I could have said no to my guy friends, but when there is a jaw-dropping gorgeous woman with big brown eyes sitting on your couch asking you to go out with them, too... Well, I'm just not that strong.
Long story short, I finally collapsed onto my bed around 4 am last night. I'm not sure that I was fun to hang out with at the club, as I mainly just stood against the wall and people watched. But I had a good time. My friends are awesome dancers.
Also this week, my friends convinced me to play a round of golf with them at the Jake Gaither public course in Tallahassee. It was the first time in my life that I have ever set foot on a golf course. The results were better than I hoped, probably due to the golf class I took as an undergraduate years ago. The lessons on how to grip the club and what to be thinking when you hit the ball all came back to me. I met my main goal of not swinging and missing. Even better, I was pretty good out of the sand traps. Becoming good enough to use golf as the background while business gets conducted is the goal of everyone who invited me to play. My friends are already at that level, I think. It was pleasing to see that I am not that far off, either, and I was grateful for their invitation.
However, earlier this week I took a checkpoint quiz for Constitutional Law, and I am only getting 50% of the questions right. After extensive review and watching tutorial videos, I am still only getting 55-60% right. The work keeps getting piled on, too. I only got 64% of the Criminal Law/Procedure questions correct on a quiz yesterday morning, and so I have to do review exercises for that as well.
But I am up and about. It is 9:30 on a Sunday morning. This blog entry only took 20 minutes to write. Now it is time to get started and show some more discipline when it comes to having too much fun.
Until Next Time,
Nathan Marshburn
Like I said in my blog post on May 28, my new residence can be quite the social scene. Yesterday, we organized a tailgate party for the NCAA baseball super regionals. Florida State is taking on Texas A & M in a best of three games series. The winner goes to the College World Series in Omaha. I spent hours out in the sun yesterday, enjoying grilled burgers and talking to friends before we went inside the stadium to watch our team.
It was after dark when we finally packed up the grill and headed back to the house. So, I was ready to call it a day. I needed to study. But peer pressure can be tough, sometimes. My friends convinced me to go out with them to a club downtown. I think I could have said no to my guy friends, but when there is a jaw-dropping gorgeous woman with big brown eyes sitting on your couch asking you to go out with them, too... Well, I'm just not that strong.
Long story short, I finally collapsed onto my bed around 4 am last night. I'm not sure that I was fun to hang out with at the club, as I mainly just stood against the wall and people watched. But I had a good time. My friends are awesome dancers.
Also this week, my friends convinced me to play a round of golf with them at the Jake Gaither public course in Tallahassee. It was the first time in my life that I have ever set foot on a golf course. The results were better than I hoped, probably due to the golf class I took as an undergraduate years ago. The lessons on how to grip the club and what to be thinking when you hit the ball all came back to me. I met my main goal of not swinging and missing. Even better, I was pretty good out of the sand traps. Becoming good enough to use golf as the background while business gets conducted is the goal of everyone who invited me to play. My friends are already at that level, I think. It was pleasing to see that I am not that far off, either, and I was grateful for their invitation.
However, earlier this week I took a checkpoint quiz for Constitutional Law, and I am only getting 50% of the questions right. After extensive review and watching tutorial videos, I am still only getting 55-60% right. The work keeps getting piled on, too. I only got 64% of the Criminal Law/Procedure questions correct on a quiz yesterday morning, and so I have to do review exercises for that as well.
But I am up and about. It is 9:30 on a Sunday morning. This blog entry only took 20 minutes to write. Now it is time to get started and show some more discipline when it comes to having too much fun.
Until Next Time,
Nathan Marshburn
Saturday, June 4, 2011
The Red, Yellow, Green Game
Right now is probably the most stressful time of my entire law school experience.
Really, I've got nothing to complain about. The weather is warm and beautiful, and my health is good. I go for nice jogs around the football stadium and up part of Saint Marks Trail. Tonight, I will probably watch Florida State take on Alabama in the NCAA baseball tournament. My new residence is close enough to walk to the baseball game, and my roommates are all great guys.
But weighing on my mind like a sack of stones is the job search.
Something good will come through eventually. I just graduated with honors from a quality law school. When I pass the bar exam, I will be even more employable.
Recently, I had a series of interviews for a job that I really wanted. The talks seemed to be going well, and things were moving along quickly and positively. But then... silence. And waiting. And more silence.
During the interview process, you get your hopes up and start thinking about what your life will be like if you land that job. As the days after the interviews wear on though, and you hear nothing, you are forced to re-start your thinking. You have to go back a few steps, to where you were weeks before, and begin looking at other options again.
But who knows? Maybe that job will come through. We will see... This is all a great exercise in maintaining a mental and emotional balance. It tests my ability to stay happy within myself, without depending on external factors that I can not control.
The whole thing is quite a roller coaster ride, though.
In an effort to distract my mind from the ups and downs of where life is going after July, I am trying to delve deeply into the bar preparation process. Though getting ready for the bar exam is also quite stressful, I like Kaplan PMBR's system. They use a combination of printed books and on-line resources to get me ready. I am more comfortable using their paper materials, but the on-line tools are neat in that it makes bar prep a sort of game.
At various intervals in the course, I take an on-line quiz to check my progress. The results break down my performance into statistics and colors.
We just finished a section on contracts. Overall for contracts, I am answering 67% of the questions correctly. This is coded yellow, which means moderate review is needed. Getting more specific, I am answering 90% of the questions on contracts consideration correctly. This puts me in the green for that subsection, and no review is needed. However, for contract conditions, I am only answering 40% of the questions correctly. This marks me in the red- extensive review needed. Thus, I have to watch a tutorial video, review the printed material again, and do more exercises exclusively on contract conditions. As we go along, Kaplan's on-line system is creating my own personalized pie chart and bar graph.
The goal is to get every section and subsection into the green. This is much easier said than done. Despite the hours that I am putting in, for the whole course I am answering questions correctly only 65-67% of the time.
So, after I finish this blog entry, I will watch a tutorial video on contract discharge and excuse- another subsection where I am in the red.
Until Next Time,
Nathan Marshburn
Really, I've got nothing to complain about. The weather is warm and beautiful, and my health is good. I go for nice jogs around the football stadium and up part of Saint Marks Trail. Tonight, I will probably watch Florida State take on Alabama in the NCAA baseball tournament. My new residence is close enough to walk to the baseball game, and my roommates are all great guys.
But weighing on my mind like a sack of stones is the job search.
Something good will come through eventually. I just graduated with honors from a quality law school. When I pass the bar exam, I will be even more employable.
Recently, I had a series of interviews for a job that I really wanted. The talks seemed to be going well, and things were moving along quickly and positively. But then... silence. And waiting. And more silence.
During the interview process, you get your hopes up and start thinking about what your life will be like if you land that job. As the days after the interviews wear on though, and you hear nothing, you are forced to re-start your thinking. You have to go back a few steps, to where you were weeks before, and begin looking at other options again.
But who knows? Maybe that job will come through. We will see... This is all a great exercise in maintaining a mental and emotional balance. It tests my ability to stay happy within myself, without depending on external factors that I can not control.
The whole thing is quite a roller coaster ride, though.
In an effort to distract my mind from the ups and downs of where life is going after July, I am trying to delve deeply into the bar preparation process. Though getting ready for the bar exam is also quite stressful, I like Kaplan PMBR's system. They use a combination of printed books and on-line resources to get me ready. I am more comfortable using their paper materials, but the on-line tools are neat in that it makes bar prep a sort of game.
At various intervals in the course, I take an on-line quiz to check my progress. The results break down my performance into statistics and colors.
We just finished a section on contracts. Overall for contracts, I am answering 67% of the questions correctly. This is coded yellow, which means moderate review is needed. Getting more specific, I am answering 90% of the questions on contracts consideration correctly. This puts me in the green for that subsection, and no review is needed. However, for contract conditions, I am only answering 40% of the questions correctly. This marks me in the red- extensive review needed. Thus, I have to watch a tutorial video, review the printed material again, and do more exercises exclusively on contract conditions. As we go along, Kaplan's on-line system is creating my own personalized pie chart and bar graph.
The goal is to get every section and subsection into the green. This is much easier said than done. Despite the hours that I am putting in, for the whole course I am answering questions correctly only 65-67% of the time.
So, after I finish this blog entry, I will watch a tutorial video on contract discharge and excuse- another subsection where I am in the red.
Until Next Time,
Nathan Marshburn
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