The Red, Yellow, Green Game

Right now is probably the most stressful time of my entire law school experience.

Really, I've got nothing to complain about. The weather is warm and beautiful, and my health is good. I go for nice jogs around the football stadium and up part of Saint Marks Trail. Tonight, I will probably watch Florida State take on Alabama in the NCAA baseball tournament. My new residence is close enough to walk to the baseball game, and my roommates are all great guys.

But weighing on my mind like a sack of stones is the job search.

Something good will come through eventually. I just graduated with honors from a quality law school. When I pass the bar exam, I will be even more employable.

Recently, I had a series of interviews for a job that I really wanted. The talks seemed to be going well, and things were moving along quickly and positively. But then... silence. And waiting. And more silence.

During the interview process, you get your hopes up and start thinking about what your life will be like if you land that job. As the days after the interviews wear on though, and you hear nothing, you are forced to re-start your thinking. You have to go back a few steps, to where you were weeks before, and begin looking at other options again.

But who knows? Maybe that job will come through. We will see... This is all a great exercise in maintaining a mental and emotional balance. It tests my ability to stay happy within myself, without depending on external factors that I can not control.

The whole thing is quite a roller coaster ride, though.

In an effort to distract my mind from the ups and downs of where life is going after July, I am trying to delve deeply into the bar preparation process. Though getting ready for the bar exam is also quite stressful, I like Kaplan PMBR's system. They use a combination of printed books and on-line resources to get me ready. I am more comfortable using their paper materials, but the on-line tools are neat in that it makes bar prep a sort of game.

At various intervals in the course, I take an on-line quiz to check my progress. The results break down my performance into statistics and colors.

We just finished a section on contracts. Overall for contracts, I am answering 67% of the questions correctly. This is coded yellow, which means moderate review is needed. Getting more specific, I am answering 90% of the questions on contracts consideration correctly. This puts me in the green for that subsection, and no review is needed. However, for contract conditions, I am only answering 40% of the questions correctly. This marks me in the red- extensive review needed. Thus, I have to watch a tutorial video, review the printed material again, and do more exercises exclusively on contract conditions. As we go along, Kaplan's on-line system is creating my own personalized pie chart and bar graph.

The goal is to get every section and subsection into the green. This is much easier said than done. Despite the hours that I am putting in, for the whole course I am answering questions correctly only 65-67% of the time.

So, after I finish this blog entry, I will watch a tutorial video on contract discharge and excuse- another subsection where I am in the red.

Until Next Time,

Nathan Marshburn

An Upgrade

When I came to law school, I knew that I was not going to have any income to speak of for the extent of my enrollment. So, the past three years have been an exercise in how to save money. I lived simply and alone in a sparsely furnished apartment. In part to avoid distractions and in part to avoid the expense of cable, I did not bring a television with me to Florida.

This summer, however, the opportunity arose for me to sublease a nice townhouse with three guys who also just graduated. I moved in with them about a week ago.

I like the changes. There is a lot more living space. The ceiling in my bedroom is so high that I can not reach the control cords for the fan. Also, the house is close enough to the law school that I can walk to my Kaplan bar prep classes. In addition to having a dishwasher, a washer and dryer, and a large HD TV with huge speakers and about 500 channels, the townhouse also gets many more visitors than my apartment ever did.

There were a couple of parties that I attended here during law school. This house was one of the more popular places for law school students to gather for Florida State away games on TV.

I won't lie. It was rather nice to come downstairs from my bedroom to do laundry a few days ago and discover four beautiful women sitting on the living room couches, talking and laughing.

Though my new home is certainly more comfortable, it is also considerably more distracting. Making myself study the bar prep material is going to take effort.

I don't watch much television, but a TV with 500 channels can hit my Achilles heel- sports and good movies.

Right now, the ACC baseball tournament is happening. Florida State has made it to the championship game, and I can watch all of the games on the Florida Sports Network. Yesterday, I caught myself avoiding studying by watching Utah vs. New Mexico State in a Mountain West Conference baseball game airing on some obscure channel.

HBO is also a huge temptation. Last week, I was almost late to bar prep class because I became interested in Robert Downey's performance in Sherlock Holmes.

And then there are my friends. Living with outgoing fellow students suddenly means there is much more socializing to do- not that I'm complaining.

One of my roommates is from Miami. He is a huge Heat fan. When their basketball games come on, he cranks up the speakers on the TV and makes the walls shake. I enjoy watching the games with him because he is such a passionate fan. After every Heat victory, his tradition is to open our balcony doors and blast the Pitbull remix of Don Omar's "Danza Kuduro" into the streets.

After the Miami Heat clinched the Eastern Conference championship on Thursday around midnight, he shouted at me, "Nathan! Put on your shoes! We are going out!"

"C'mon, man," I replied. "We've got class at 9am tomorrow."

"This is not an option!" he yelled.

Yes, my living situation has changed substantially from a couple of weeks ago when I came home to a small, rather empty apartment in a very quiet neighborhood. Even now, as I type this blog entry in my bedroom, one of my roommates is booming dance music by some female artist unknown to me. I don't mind. It is a nice change, an upgrade to my quality of life. I think I can maintain enough discipline to get my bar studying done, and everything is fine.

Until Next Time,

Nathan Marshburn

Week 1 Assessment

After the first week of bar preparation classes with Kaplan PMBR, I realize that my work is cut out for me.

This past Monday through Saturday, we had class from 9am to 3:30pm. Each day was a different subject: Torts, Criminal Law, Contracts, Property, Evidence, and Constitutional Law. The pattern for week 1 was to answer 50 multiple choice questions in the morning, questions that were supposed to be somewhat easier than what we will actually see on the exam. Then in the afternoon, a professor went over the answers using power point slides for almost every question.

Unfortunately, this first week taught me that I am not as ready for the bar exam as I had hoped. I am very glad to be doing this bar prep class. There would probably be no shot at passing that little quiz without it.

It was somewhat disheartening to see how many questions I am getting wrong. For example, in Evidence, a subject I consider to be perhaps my strongest, I missed 27 out of 50 questions. For other subjects such as Property, there were whole swaths of questions in areas that I never studied in law school, such as landlord-tenant agreements and mortgages.

The first week of bar prep also made me appreciative of the subjects I took in law school which are also tested on the bar exam. Because I had Evidence in law school, I do not have as far to go in order to start getting more questions right. For many of those questions that I missed in Evidence, I picked the second best answer. But I had no idea what to do in areas of landlord-tenant agreements and mortgages, because these are doctrines and concepts I am seeing for the very first time. Taking a class in Real Estate Finance would have helped with mortgages, but there are only so many electives in the three year program. I needed to take courses that would make me a better litigator as well, and Real Estate Finance was not on that list.

The encouragement comes when the instructors give us the slides explaining the correct answers. I can study these slides and fix many of my weak areas, though it is easier when the subject is already familiar to me.

To be completely honest, it also helps my morale to see many of my fellow students also struggling. I am not sure that anyone is lighting up every subject at this point.

The Florida Bar Exam is probably one of the three most difficult to pass in the whole country- right up there with California and New York.

Yes, this is going to be more intense than every day life in law school. There is enough work in these materials to make it as intense as studying for final exams, but then I would suffer a burn out after a couple or three weeks.

Bar prep is going to be a marathon: Steady discipline and determination to put in the hours without overdoing it in any particular stretch. The concepts will not be too terribly difficult to learn, I think. It is just that there are so many concepts and doctrines and rules to get into my head in the next two months.

Onward and upward. Tomorrow at 9am (actually today as it is now past midnight), is our first session on "Florida" law in Torts.

Until Next Time,

Nathan Marshburn

The Week in Between

Tomorrow, I start my two-month bar preparation classes with Kaplan PMBR. I suppose that I will keep writing entries here at least through taking the bar exam, as it is also a huge part of the law school experience.

The week in between graduation and the start of bar prep, I got a chance to relax a little before the intense study kicks up again. One of my friends stayed for a few days after watching me graduate. We had a nice visit, dined at some good restaurants, and went to Panama City Beach. It was my first trip to the shore since coming to law school. Specifically, we went to the beach at St. Andrews State Park. It was absolutely gorgeous. I’d seen white sand and turquoise blue water before (Bradenton, Florida in 1996), but the experience in Panama City Beach dazzled my friend. It was the most beautiful beach she had ever seen in her life. She called her mother in south Texas to say, “L’agua esta azul, azul, azul!”

During the trip, I decided that Bay County and Panama City would be a neat place to work. I will keep it in mind when sending my resume to trial attorneys…

But tomorrow, I will be in class from 9am to 3:30pm in Tallahassee. Then it is study, study, study tomorrow evening before rising early to be at class again at 9 am.

Students who have been through bar prep before warned me about the drudgery of what is ahead. We'll see. If bar prep is as intense as getting ready for final exams, then they are right. There is no way that I can sustain that kind of effort for two or three months straight. Exam season, at least for me, is like engaging the afterburners.

Not counting "exam season," however, law school on a daily basis was actually enjoyable. I imagine that the intensity of bar prep will fall somewhere in between the two poles of daily law school life and "exam season." Hopefully, by the end of the day tomorrow- or at least by the end of the week- I'll have a good read of what is required.

Until Next Time,

Nathan Marshburn

Partying with the All-Stars***

It is over, sort of.

Last Saturday, I dressed up in a fancy gown, hood, hat, and along with approximately 240 of my other classmates, walked across a stage at the Civic Center in the FSU College of Law graduation ceremony. It will still be a few weeks before final grades from this last semester are posted and our degrees are officially conferred. In the words of my mother, though, “It was a great day.” Some of my family and friends were there, and we celebrated afterwards by going out to eat and then to a FSU baseball game.

Of all that went on Saturday at the ceremony, the program bulletin was the most interesting thing to me. It listed all of the graduates, along with various accomplishments we achieved during our three years. The program also provided which students are going to graduate with honors, pending the outcome of this last semester. Those who are in a position to graduate cum laude had an asterisk by their name. Those set to graduate magna cum laude had two asterisks, and those who could finish summa cum laude had three asterisks next to their name.

Out of the entire graduating class, only four students had ***. I know each of the four fairly well. In fact, my last social outing as a law school student was in the company of two of them…

During this past “exam season,” I only took one evening off to have some fun. The occasion was a going away party for one of my friends. He is moving to Miami to take a job with a law firm, and he was also one of the four students with *** by his name in the graduation program.

The party was at his house, and it was one of the most enjoyable that I have experienced in law school. He and his wife own a couple of cats, and I always like it when there are animals around to keep me company. An additional *** student came by, along with a number of other all-star students whom I now know are set to graduate with honors or high honors.

The talent of these students has always amazed me. In addition to being the best scholars in our class, they are excellent gardeners, wood craftsmen, marathon runners, and musicians. They are just good at life, generally. Whereas for myself, I struggle at keeping a clean apartment.

One friend of mine was in fact a professional musician prior to coming to law school. At the party, he and our Miami-bound host entertained us by taking turns singing requests for pop songs from the 80s and 90s. With only one acoustic guitar, they kept us entertained for hours.

Their display of talent showed me another change in technology that was not around when I went to parties as an undergraduate. Using their hand held I-phone, Droid, Blackberry or whatever you call it, they were able to take a request, search for the chord pattern of the song on the Internet, and then play it while looking at the small screen on their device.

My favorite songs were those that the former pro knew by heart. With only the acoustical guitar, he performed amazing ballad-style covers of hits from Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, and SirMixaLot.

Not only were the songs very well done, the lyrics were shockingly hilarious.

The other ***student at the party enjoyed the music more than anyone. But at one point, she watched me as I listened and said, “This is going to be a blog entry.” Her comment surprised me, as I did not know that she read my blog.
As the hour became late, she also said what I was beginning to think for myself: “I really need to be studying right now.”

But that night, it was just too much fun. We both stayed much longer- until the two musicians’ voices became tired.

I do not think the indulgence hurt my exam performance, and I am glad I took the time to party with some *** and ** students. It was great to see their talents and personalities in a somewhat different light.

Until Next Time,

Nathan Marshburn

The New Importance of Clothes

For me, the most disappointing thing about law school is how I'm physically aging. This is one area of life where I believe it is actually mentally healthier to stay in a state of denial, so I won't say much more about it. Still, as I get older I am beginning to see even more the importance of clothes in society.

Earlier this week, a friend who works in the state legislature invited me to lunch up at the Capitol. Real estate lobbyists hosted the meal, and it was open the public. I asked him if how I was dressed was okay- blue jeans and a polo shirt with my shirt tail out. He said it was fine. I took him up on the offer and walked five minutes east on Pensacola Street from the law school to the Capitol.

When I arrived, however, I realized that I would have been much more comfortable in a suit. Everyone else was in professional attire. While I tried to smile at them, they did not smile back at me the way they would have if I had been in a suit. I could almost read their minds: "He's not one of us. This is just some man off the street looking for a free lunch."

I don't hold it against my friend for inviting me at all. He's younger than I am. I now understand that when you're young and you dress down, people don't care as much. He could have pulled off jeans and a loose polo. But not me. Not anymore. This is a threshold I've crossed since coming to law school.

When I'm among people in professional attire, I now need to be in professional attire, too. I am a "man," now. No one calls me "kid" anymore, the way the salesmen out on the car lot in Las Vegas did when I worked with them five years ago. A "man" needs to already be successful and look like he's successful. A "kid" still has success waiting for him in the years ahead. I can't pull off the Gap or Old Navy look in a crowd of professionally dressed people anymore- if I ever could pull it off.

I've noticed this change from comments people have made to me this year, too. One day earlier this semester when I came to school in a suit, a law school administrator looked at me and said, "You don't look like a student. You look like you are already a lawyer, years beyond school."

"I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not," I replied.

This past week, one of the librarians stopped me and told me that she had decided I was a chameleon. "When you are in a suit," she said, "I think that a lawyer has just walked into the library. But today you are not in lawyer clothes. You are in jeans and you look like a different person."

Of course I would like to remain forever young, but this change I am going through has some benefits if I learn how to play it right- especially when I am wearing a suit...

It is officially exam season. I have to hit the books even harder. This will probably be my last entry until after graduation.

Until Next Time,

Nathan Marshburn

Adjusting My Attitude

Almost every day now, someone asks me what it feels like to "almost be done" with law school.

From my sales experience, I know that I need to come up with a better answer than what I've been saying.

The smile on the face of the person asking me that question inevitably changes to a frown of confusion once I've given my long-winded answer.

My answer, more or less, goes like this:

"Really, it doesn't feel like I'm almost done. It just feels like one more hurdle that I have to clear in this whole process. I still have to take the final exams and pass the final exams. I'll go through the graduation ceremony not 100% sure that I've actually graduated. Then I have to spend about two and a half months getting ready for the bar exam while I wait for my degree to be officially conferred. At the end of July, I'll take the bar exam. Then I have to wait for results, which won't be released until mid or late September. Somewhere along the line, I've got to find a job. Assuming everything goes right in all this, I still won't become a lawyer for another six months from now- as one firm neatly pointed out to me in a recent job interview. So really, it does not feel like I'm almost done."

A poor first year student who innocently asked me the question and then listened to my rant, sheepishly responded, "Well...Good luck with that process," and hustled off.

While all of the above is true, I know my attitude is what counts. After that 1L student hurried away from me, an interview I'd seen with Joe Montana came to mind.

Joe Montana, a former NFL player for the San Francisco 49ers and the Kansas City Chiefs, is the greatest quarterback whom I personally have ever seen play the game.

This interview that came to mind took place a few days before he was to be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio. A reporter asked him what it felt like.

I can't remember Montana's exact quote, but it was to the effect that being inducted into the Hall felt like "the end." It felt like the last event before they piled the dirt on his coffin.

The reporter gave him the same look that the 1L and the other students have given me after my response to their questions about what it feels like to almost be done with law school.

By the time of Montana's actual enshrinement speech, however, he had adjusted his attitude. Here is an excerpt of what he said, taken from http://www.profootballhof.com:

"The Hall of Fame is a tremendous, tremendous honor. I had a very difficult time with it in the beginning cause I don’t think I was looking at it in the proper perspective. I saw the Hall of Fame as an ending point. I mentioned to a couple people that in some ways I felt like, wow I'm only 44-years-old, I feel like I’m in my grave, in my coffin, alive, and they’re putting, throwing dirt on me, and I can feel it, and I’m trying to get out. And it wasn’t until this weekend, these past three days, these gentlemen behind me [his fellow inductees], spending the time with them, that I think I really got the true meaning of what this is all about...I‘ve now seen the light, that this is not an ending point, this is a beginning point. This is the beginning of the rest of my life, post-career, with a new team. And take a look at these guys, what a team it is."

While graduating from law school is of course not the same thing as being inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, this upcoming graduation ceremony will be the most significant achievement in my own life, thus far.

Yesterday, I went to a house party with some of my fellow law school students. At one point, as we all sat around a TV watching the NCAA Final Four games, I looked at each student and thought about how lucky I am to be here. Four or five years ago, I would have been elated to know that such a scene was in my future. I am surrounded by very intelligent and talented people at FSU Law, people who will go far in society.

Being invited to study with such a group at such an institution, to graduate with them, means that I have an obligation to be positive. I have an obligation to bring hope to people who come into contact with me.

So, it feels nice to "almost be done." The graduation ceremony will be the culmination of a lot of hard work, and a gateway into what I hope will be a bright future. There will always be more hurdles to clear, but I am looking forward to the challenge and the rewards that come from clearing them.

Until Next Time,

Nathan Marshburn