The Flub

Earlier this week, the professor in one of my classes created a neat game to help us understand the practical aspects of some of the broader ideas and themes of the course.

She passed out a sheet with the instructions and problems, and gave us a few minutes to think over our answers. Then she took out a football.

The professor randomly tossed it to one of the students in the class. After he caught it, she told him to answer the first problem on the instruction sheet. After he did so, she told him to throw the ball to another student.

As soon as that first student answered the problem, I knew I was in trouble.

I had completely misunderstood the directions, and my answers were way off from what the professor was looking for. No sooner did I realize this when the football was in the air again, heading right at me.

I didn’t catch it. I ducked out of the way and let the ball land with a hard “BAM!” on the table in front of me. It bounced to the floor.

Everyone in the class went silent and just stared at me. The ball rolled ever so slowly to the middle of the class.

I mumbled something about an incomplete pass or a fumble, but it got no laughs. The professor looked at me with a blank expression.

I stood up, walked to the center of the room, picked up the ball, and returned to my seat.

Everyone was waiting. I stared down at my paper for a moment. Eventually, I said that I had misunderstood the instructions, and read off my totally irrelevant answer.

Everyone was still waiting. But I had nothing, and there wasn’t enough time to think. For the first time in my law school career, I froze.

Crickets chirping.

Finally, the professor offered me the dreaded, “tail tucked between my legs” escape that I had heard offered to other students in other classes a few times before:

“Would you like the assistance of co-counsel?”

I quickly answered, “Yes.”

Law school goal #8: Go the entire three years without embarrassing myself when called on in class/ Always be prepared and never have to ask for “the assistance of co-counsel.”

Result of law school goal #8: Fail.

One of my friends sitting behind me offered to take a “lateral.”

I tossed the ball back to him, nearly knocking over his water bottle in the process.

The rest of the class went on with the game, tossing the ball back and forth and giving the correct answers. Apparently, I was the only one who had misunderstood the directions.

After class ended and I was walking out, the professor gave me a smile of what I took to be pity.

It was a nice start to the day.

Hopefully, I won't have a similar misunderstanding when the professor passes out the instructions on final exam day.

Beware the Ides of March,

Nathan Marshburn